It’s my birthday, and I’m 44.  According to the Insurance Actuarial Tables, I’m probably more than halfway through.

That just sounds depressing.  Especially if you are older than me.  Sorry.

Let’s look at it another way…  About half of my life thus far was spent just learning the basics, let’s say to my early 20′s.  After that, I’ve been in adult life graduate school, learning the more intricate things that I need to know.

That means that probably have 2/3 of my adult life left (let’s hope and pray) and I’ve learned a lot of good stuff on the way.  Here are a few lessons off the top of my head as I write this the night before.

• Life’s not easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s bad.  Sometimes the hard things make life easier later on.  I could never have dealt with some of the things I deal with now on a regular basis, had I not been through what I thought was horrible earlier in life.  Now I think I was a wimp before.  Which I probably was.
• Marriage is cool.  Be sure you get the right one.  It’s hard at first for everyone.  It gets easier if you just have one rule:  Nobody gets out alive.  That’s actually in the vows, if you look them up.  If you know that you are in it for the long haul, you work hard to make it better.  Go to counseling if you need it.  We did and it made an enormous difference for the better.  And remember that your family is the most important thing you are responsible for in this life (I’m including taking care of yourself in this sentence on the family).  If you don’t take care of that, what point is the rest of it?
• Do what you love, if you can make a living at it.  If you can’t, then do what is helpful and do your best to love it.  It’s easier to do a job that you love and wretched to do what you hate.  A lot of the attitude you bring to the job is up to you, though.  Be positive in your mind about it, but if you just can’t do that then find something else as quick as possible so that you and everyone around you aren’t miserable.
• Argue less.  A lot of things I used to think were life and death aren’t even close.  Most stuff that we get upset about isn’t worth the energy of being disconcerted and probably, if we are honest, we don’t have a right to be angry about it.  Let it go, if you can.  If not, deal with people in a way that brings reconciliation.  Don’t dump people if you can help it.  It’s probably a mistake to cut them out of your life.  Unless it’s not, in which case you should choose carefully who influences you.
• Have a hobby.  Have twelve.  You need something to enjoy and accomplish that isn’t tied to work or making ends meet.  Consuming media (tv, music, internet, etc.) is not a hobby – it’s a pastime.  You accomplish nothing and get no sense of self worth from it, nor do you get to be creative and do things without limits from others.  You need creative, accomplishy sorts of things and lots of them.  My list of hobbies (some I am doing more than others) are:  cycling, exercising at the gym (I know, don’t laugh), frisbee golf, golf, photography, guitar, water color painting…  I’m sure there’s more.  Oh, yeah.  Writing.
• Be outside more.  I had become accustomed to air conditioned office life and the heat was not fun.  Then, last summer, I started doing a lot of outdoor activities and my body adjusted to the heat.  It was awesome.  I loved it.  Outdoors is way more cool than indoors.  WAAAAAYYY more cool.  In the “hip” sense of cool, not the temperature sense.  You probably knew that.
• Take care of your body.  It declines quickly and the more you ignore it early, the harder it gets later.  A 50 year old that has been fit all his/her life is in much better shape than the 50 year old that got in shape in his/her mid forties.  I learned this the hard way.  I’ve got so many things deteriorating on my body, it’s silly.  One of my biggest regrets is not staying shape.  I used to be in shape. Then I got married.  I did marry the right one.  The one I married is an awesome cook.  I quit even trying to burn off anything I consumed.  18 years later (the day after Christmas is 18 years), one of my hobbies is working out at the gym.  Ugh.

That’s all I can think of at the moment.  Any you’d like to add?  Feel free.

I had a church member say something last year that was quite profound:

“Expectations are premeditated anger.”

It’s true, though I would modify it to say that expectations are premeditated frustration and division.  Anger is also an option.

Are expectations wrong?  No.  Some expectations are necessary, such as the expectation that your children will grow in maturity and take on more and more responsibility.  This is, most times, a healthy expression of expectation being placed on people around you.

On the other hand, unhealthy expectations are that described premeditated source of anger, frustration and division.  What are unhealthy expectations?

I would say that, mostly, they stem from prideful arrogance, though we rarely see them that way.  But what else can you call it when you anticipate that those around you will do things the way you want them done without first evaluating whether or not the way you want them done is anything other than your personal preference?

I suppose the final modification to the saying would result in this, “Expectations stemming from unevaluated personal preference are premeditated anger, frustration and division.”

Doesn’t roll off the tongue as easily, does it?  Still…

Interestingly, my wife said that she got something from my sermon on Sunday that I wasn’t trying to communicate.  I said “interestingly,” but perhaps I should have used the word “ironically.” Except that I’m sure such a thing happens all the time.

While speaking on the first Sunday of Advent, I was expounding on Joseph. How he was described as a righteous man. Was unwilling to humiliate Mary publicly when he thought her pregnant by another man.  The phrase that spun my better half in another direction was, “God chose wisely when He entrusted the watchcare of His Son to such a man.”

Bonnie, struck by the difficulty of Joseph’s situation, realized that he was in that situation because he was trustworthy.  And in that moment she was grateful for the bangs, crashes, jolts and thuds we’ve faced, realizing that God has considered us faithful enough to be assigned the bumpy road.

For this to occur, we must trust that God knows what He is doing.  Easier said than done, for most of us.

Some things for which I am grateful:

• My family (obviously).
• Our home.
• Relatively good health in spite of my failure to take care of my body the way I should.
• The Aggies turning around their football fortunes.
• Honeybaked ham.  Seriously.  Have you had it?  It’s like meat-candy.
• My wife’s willingness to let me get a Honeybaked Ham every Thanksgiving.
• Our dogs, which are pretty lovable and behave reasonably well.
• Our church, which has seen some hard times lately, but which I love.
• That my kids still talk to me after I embarrass them, which is frequently.

Any you’d like to add?

Having yo-yo’ed my weight over the last four years in an attempt to get back into shape, I found this article very interesting.

Nutrition prof sheds 27 pounds on Twinkie diet – Chicago Tribune.

A few things to note:

• The professor isn’t recommending this diet, just observing the effects of calorie reduction.
• Not only did he lose weight, but his body chemistry (LDL, HDL, Triglycerides) all improved on the junk food.
• Exercise wasn’t mentioned.  It’s all about the intake of calories.

I’m sure the professor would encourage exercise as a part of everyone’s overall health.  It’s just that he studies nutrition, so that’s what he measured and reported.

The bottom line, though… Stop eating so much.

Where’d I put those Twinkies?

My friend, Marty Duren, has written his second book, The Generous Soul: An Introduction to Missional Giving.

If you are not well versed in the thought processes that are huddled together under the umbrella of “Missionality,” then the title of the book may give you pause.  You might not see the need to purchase and read a book about giving money “Missionally.”

If you allow these thoughts to keep you from reading TGS, you make a grave mistake.

The Generous Soul is about stewardship.  Authentic stewardship rather than what is often passed around Christian culture, the avoidance of debt to build personal wealth.

Rather, the stewardship advanced in TGS is a holistic stewardship that more accurately squares with the full testimony of Scripture:  All things were made by God, we are responsible for the influence of some of it, “our” whole lives and all of “our” possessions are intended to be used to advance the Kingdom of God.

Throughout the book, Duren uses anecdotes, Scripture and quotes from saintly and secular to weave a compelling vision of using all that one is able in the pursuit of God’s Mission, the redemption of creation.

I am still struggling with the convictions that I suffered upon my first reading.  Though I consider myself to be committed to a missional lifestyle, I immediately recognized that the wake of my impact on the world has been greatly reduced by simple decisions common to the American Christian.

I have not been the steward of God’s creation that I could have been, and the truth of that came into sharp relief with a new inspiration.  A desire has taken root in me to make a bigger difference and to use all that I can in the effort.  I believe that I, myself, in partnership with my lovely wife, can really make a difference in the world.

Missional Giving.

Is it a “new” thought, deserving of a “new” name?  Not really.  It is as old as the Gospel itself.  However, for Christians in the West, it is a thought in need of being recaptured, internalized and lived.

This book would be helpful to every Christian, and I wholeheartedly recommend it to you.  It is available through Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Lifeway (local bookstores) and various other booksellers.

Last night I found myself yawning while halfway through that stunning foray into modern film making that is the movie, “Twister.”

Right when it was getting “good,” I got up, turned off the TV and lights, locked the doors and went to bed.  I had begrudgingly remembered the lesson I learned in Seminary (not in class, that would have been too practical) that sometimes Spiritual Disciplines are as much about what you don’t do as they are about what you do – the routines you practice seeking Spiritual growth.

More succinctly put, being well rested allows a fresh mind and body to pursue God.  Sometimes that means going to bed instead of staying up and watching TV, reading, playing games, cruising Main Street…  you get the idea.

This is against my nature, and I mean more than just my “sin nature.”  I’m a night owl.  I like to stay up as late as is humanly possible and then meander off to bed in a fog of semi-consciousness.

Then the pesky alarm goes off and I have to wake up and start the day.  For me, after showering and dressing, I go through my devotion time.

But I do poorly, if I’ve stayed up late.  I labor to focus and persist in prayer less.  Then I struggle through the day, buoyed by neither a good night’s rest nor a significant time with God.

One other thing that derails me:  Being on the computer when it’s time to start my devotion.

Gotta go.

A few pictures I took of my family about a month ago.

Click on a thumbnail to enlarge.

[Show as slideshow]

If you like these, you might like to browse my flickr or photoblog.  (Same pics, different layout)

I was asked yesterday what I had learned about pastoring that would be different if I had to do it all over again.

Lots of stuff.  Among the most critical: Casting Vision.

Essential to moving an organization from one way of doing things to another is the understanding of where they are going and why it must be done in the most proficient way possible.  I’ve learned a few lessons the hard way.

1. Don’t assume that because you understand it anyone else does.
2. Don’t assume that another person understands because they say they do.  They may honestly think they do, but they aren’t the best judge of that.  Ask clarifying questions to make sure they “get it.”
3. Communicate in multiple ways.  Not everybody understands things the same way.  Some are visual and need diagrams.  Others are verbal and need rich descriptions.  Communicate the same message in every conceivable fashion to hit everyone.
4. Cast your vision in smaller, non-pressure settings where questions and dialog are not threatening.  If an impending change is scheduled and you are under the gun to get everyone on board by a certain date, you begin to talk with large groups of people, which cut down on dialog, and you try and move quickly – both to meet your deadline and to make sure everyone’s question gets answered.  Doing it this way rarely gets all the questions asked, fewer answered and very few answered satisfactorily.  Don’t plan a move until you know the vast majority of the group is on board.
5. Study your organization first.  Find out what they expect when it comes to making changes.  Are they willing to follow because they understand and believe or do they need to be a part of the crafting of the vision before they buy in. Give them what they need to make the move.  Asking them to move in the way you are most comfortable only works if everyone is exactly like you.
6. Not everyone will come along.  Don’t take people for granted and don’t be callous about some leaving, but don’t have expectations of perfection.

Change is messy.  Doing it poorly is more messy, so do it really well.

I watched a video yesterday in which John Piper described “missions” as taking the Gospel across cultural lines.

I’ll accept this definition readily and then reply by saying that the crossing of cultures is mandatory in the every day lives of almost everyone in the entire world.  We do it when we go to work or school.  We do it when we go to the store.  We do it when we visit our neighbors.

The people with which we deal in the course of our routine lives come from various places and they have different cultures.  They have divergent values and they speak in a dissimilar voice.

I admit that the differences are minute in many cases, but they are still there.  In other instances, we find dramatic disparity.

Which is why every Christian should carry the mindset of a missionary with him or her, wherever they go.  It is necessary that we seek to understand those around us:  how they communicate, what they think, what they value.  When we understand these things, we can more effectively share the Gospel with them.

The Missional Church is simply a church in which the members consider themselves missionaries in the context where they already live.  Rather than depending on the staff or a select group of “visitation” volunteers, all the members of the church take on the responsibility of living and communicating the Gospel to the various networks to which they belong.

If the church is made of people who don’t understand the separate cultures around them, the separate values systems… if it is made up of people who expect that the people around them already share their values… the spread of the Gospel is  diminished for two reasons.

1. The church member does not recognize the need around them, assuming that their friends and acquaintances already share their values – Christian values – and is not motivated to share the Gospel to meet that unseen need.
2. If the church member does attempt to communicate the Gospel, they will likely not attempt to communicate in a manner intended to be received easily by the hearer, but one that is easier for the teller.  It’s not unlike moving to Africa and then expecting the Kenyan to speak English so that you can communicate.  It might happen, but it’s not likely, and if they do they may not be very good at it.

If a church really expects to fulfill the mission of God to which it is assigned, the people must understand who they are:  Missionaries to their own world.