12 Witnesses

As you may know, we are currently without a Youth Minister, so I’ll be heading to camp with our Youth Group. I also went last year, but I was just along for the ride then.

I love camp. It is such a great opportunity for God to move in the lives of young people. It is exhausting, but well worth it.

I’ll be posting updates throughout the week, along with some pictures.

Thanks for your prayers.

I’ve got stuff scattered all over the house and the living room is the primary staging area. I am about to video my segment on some of the tips I’ve discovered about packing for overseas travel.

I’m excited, anxious and dreading about 36 hours of airplane/airport travel. It’s closer to 48 if you count the drive from Tulsa to Ft. Worth, where our flights originate.

Thanks for your prayers.

Though I am always engaging in conversations in an effort to build relationships in order to communicate the Gospel, it sometimes frustrates me when those conversations end quickly and we never get there.

So God, being the gracious, amazing and humorous God that He is found me praying yesterday morning as I woke up. (Me to God) “Y’know, if I could just plainly lay out the Gospel sometime real soon, that’d be great.”

No problem.

On my way to the office after an eye appointment, I call my secretary to check if everything is ok. I have had a church member call and tell me that an extended family member, living apart from God, was badly ill in the hospital, and she wanted me to go by and share the Gospel.

Hmmmm.

So I find myself in ICU in a very real “Mars Hill” conversation with a man that has his own ideas about God and is convinced that he is fine, but denies some real core beliefs of the faith. I am hearing these things, quoting back Scripture in affirmation about what he says that is right about God, but also to correct what he has wrong about God.

Long story short, he wasn’t buying what I was selling, but was very grateful for me to be there.

I’m praying for his recovery and the opportunity for more conversations that will lead to his salvation.

I am also praying that I will be quicker to get to the Gospel. Not in a “shove it down your throat” kind of way, but in an “urgent, this is important enough not to let the moment slip by” kind of way.

I spoke with Alan Cross last week. That conversation prompted this article.

You may know that Alan and Erika, along with the rest of their family, are dealing with the possible recurrence of cancer in their son, Caelan.

As I spoke with Alan, my words were pretty simple. I told him that I loved him and his family and that my family and church were praying with them. I said that our hearts were breaking with theirs. Beyond that, I kept quiet and let Alan tell me about what was going on and share where they were.

Then Alan mentioned something that had happened that always happens when things seem desperate in the life of a believer (for that matter, it may happen in the lives of unbelievers, as well). He said that he had a few people come and talk to him or call him and try to “work out their theology on him.” It has to be said that Alan is and always has been more patient and gentle than I am. He said that he just received what they were saying for the good intentions that they had and went on. I told him that he was a better man than I am.

The truth is that people often do this in a time of seeming crises. Alan is right, they usually have good intent. I think a rare few are driven by some need to be right, but the vast majority are really trying to help. I think they believe that if they can impart some wisdom to the situation and help the grieving person see things “rightly,” then the perception of this truth will bring peace.

In fact, it doesn’t.

Peace only comes with a sense of God’s Presence. Accurate understanding may, in fact, enhance someone’s realization of God’s Presence in their situation, but the time to come to that understanding is not in the middle of their pain.

Let me give you a few things I have learned about being a help to someone who is facing grief, whether their sense of devastation is from something that has come to pass or something that may yet come to pass.

1. Most people don’t want to try and work through complicated theology. If you try and explain the sovereignty of God (if you adhere to the Doctrines of Grace) or the pernicious nature of the Devil (if you trend more Arminian), they are likely to sense that you are intruding on their emotions and are forcing them to think about some abstract irrelevancy when the thing foremost on their minds is their loved one.

2. They may ask the question, “Why did God let this happen?” If they do, it doesn’t mean that they want the theological discussion that would result from a well thought out response. I’m not saying they don’t want to know. I am saying that they don’t want to deal with complexities, especially the difficult answer of the problem of sin and pain in the world that would be reduced to something that will actually sound pithy.

What they are really looking for is peace. If you could answer them in one sentence with an answer that would reveal God’s thoughts and lend them His perspective, then you would be able to give them what they want. The problem is, obviously, that you can’t do that. The truth is you don’t know why God let this happen, and your speculation would not be helpful. No matter where you stand on the problem of pain, you must admit that you don’t know the mind of God, and that should be your answer to the question.

“Why did God let this happen?”

“I don’t know…”

3. I left the ellipses after that phrase because you shouldn’t, and I rarely if ever, stop there. What they need is the comfort of God’s Presence, so when they ask this question, give them what they need with an answer similar to this:

“I don’t know, but I do know that He loves you and He loves your family. I know that you are all important to Him and that there is nothing in the world that escapes Him. This is not being ignored by God.”

4. Then you should stop. Then you should listen. What most people need at this time is to talk. They need to express their feelings and frustrations. They need sympathy. You can easily give that to them by giving them your attention and time.

Remember that at all times you, as a part of the Body of Christ, represent the person of God - imperfect though we all may be. They need His presence, and you can model it by spending some time and attention with those who are hurting.

5. When the time has passed, ask if you can pray for them. If they are willing, and most are, ask God to provide them comfort, wisdom and strength. If they have a loved one who is sick, ask God to give the health professionals guidance. If the Holy Spirit confirms with you, ask God to bring healing. (I’m not going to enter into a debate concerning “Word of Faith” theology that God wants to heal all people, especially His people. Another time and place.) Above all, ask for the family and all involved to be aware of God’s presence in the situation - that none could be in the room without knowing He is there.

Pray this last phrase for two reasons. First, ask this because you want it to happen - that all would realize His presence. Second, do it out loud with them because it helps them to picture the reality that God actually IS present in the middle of their crises.

Remember that you are there as a servant of God and of them. Realize what they really need (a sense of God’s presence) and then work hard to give it to them.

Also, though this post is not specifically about the Cross family, please allow me to ask that you continue to pray for Caelan Cross and all those that love him.

If you are looking for the video post of traveling gear, I’ll put it up next week.  I think the timing is better for it then and this now.

I’ve had a couple of wake up calls in the last week.  Dennis Jeffares, during our training session, informed us of some particular sensitivities to which we are going to have to adjust.  We have to rearrange our vocabulary a bit, especially in the use of the M word.  It turns out that it is offensive to that culture for reasons I do not yet understand.  Nevertheless, because it is offensive, we must avoid it.

I’ve had to edit it out of emails and I’ve retroactively edited posts to eliminate it as well.  At this point, I am putting the word in my “moderation” filter so I can catch it if someone uses it inadvertently.

Moreover, we have to be prepared to have all of our belongings searched.  This is an affront to our pride in our culture.  All of that has to go away, and is not that big of a deal.  I wish I could say more about this, but I can’t.

The other thing that is a shock to my system is the Spiritual Warfare that we are beginning to face already.  A friend who was raised on the field warned me last week that the rooms in which we will stay have been blessed by Buddhist Monks, and that our team needed to be bathed in prayer.  That our judgment could be cloudy, that we could suffer nightmares, are all a part of the reality of Asia.   Couple that with the exhaustion of traveling around the world and we will be in desperate need of God’s strength.

I’ve been so excited about going that I’ve ignored the Spiriutal Realities that surround what we are doing.  Make no mistake:  I am confident in God’s sovereignty.  There is  no doubt From Whom and Through Whom and To Whom are all things (Rom 11:36).  That is why it so vital that we be dependent on Him, and not ourselves.

I am not putting up a Phriday foto today. Really I need any and all traffic that should hit this site to pray and to refer this to anyone else that is a believer and ask them to pray.

Caelan Cross is a wonderful child, whom I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting. I take the word of his father, Alan Cross, on the beauty of his son.

Caelan was diagnosed with cancer as a 5 month old child and had it surgically removed from his side, along with a rib or two, if I remember correctly.

The doctors said that if this cancer ever returned it would be a hard thing to overcome and the odds of his survival would not be good.

At his recent 3 month scan, a swollen lymph node was discovered behind his heart. The doctors, because of the previous cancer, are treating this very seriously and have scheduled a dangerous biopsy next week. If they are unable to get at it with a probe, they will have to open Caelan’s chest right then.

When dealing with aggressive cancer, it is good to have aggressive doctors. This does not change all of the emotions the family is going through. Also, Caelan, who has been through all manner of medical procedures, from surgery to chemotherapy, faces a yet undetermined round today and beyond.

I ask for you to please pray for Caelan, his parents, Alan and Erika, and siblings, whom I sadly confess I don’t know their names.

You can check for ongoing requests and leave comments for the Cross family at Alan’s blog: Downshore Drift.