I can go no further down the road of my responsibilities without stopping to spend time in prayer and meditation.  God has been faithful to me.  I must be dependent on Him.

I find that when I am not making myself depend on Him that He is making me depend on Him.  The latter is the more painful of the two that bring me to the same place.

And all things depend on Him.  He is trustworthy.  I can only live well in this life when I conform to this truth.

I waste time when I spend it on “responsibilities” to the detriment of time in prayer and meditation on God’s Word.  When the shallow consumes the eternal, there is little hope of joy or any spiritual success.

I am best able to handle everything the more I am conformed to the image of Christ.

In all things and in all ways I must pursue the image of Christ being revealed in me.

Last night I found myself yawning while halfway through that stunning foray into modern film making that is the movie, “Twister.”

Right when it was getting “good,” I got up, turned off the TV and lights, locked the doors and went to bed.  I had begrudgingly remembered the lesson I learned in Seminary (not in class, that would have been too practical) that sometimes Spiritual Disciplines are as much about what you don’t do as they are about what you do – the routines you practice seeking Spiritual growth.

More succinctly put, being well rested allows a fresh mind and body to pursue God.  Sometimes that means going to bed instead of staying up and watching TV, reading, playing games, cruising Main Street…  you get the idea.

This is against my nature, and I mean more than just my “sin nature.”  I’m a night owl.  I like to stay up as late as is humanly possible and then meander off to bed in a fog of semi-consciousness.

Then the pesky alarm goes off and I have to wake up and start the day.  For me, after showering and dressing, I go through my devotion time.

But I do poorly, if I’ve stayed up late.  I labor to focus and persist in prayer less.  Then I struggle through the day, buoyed by neither a good night’s rest nor a significant time with God.

One other thing that derails me:  Being on the computer when it’s time to start my devotion.

Gotta go.

[Note: I'll be blogging the Tulsa Metro Association (The World's Most Missional Association) Annual Meeting on Wednesday and Thursday. It is not a LIVE blog (does that make it dead blogging?) but it will be fairly extensive. I will not blog the reports in detail. You're welcome. I will blog the interaction with Frank Page and Milfred Minatrea. There is some pretty good stuff there. See you back here tomorrow for the details.]

Never forget that several folks continue to blog the disciplines, and you cna find the full set of really good stuff at Words Are Not Enough: Live From New Orleans, the blog of Joe Kennedy.

Worship.

I really don’t know where to start. Worship has been a subject of tremendous study and growth for me. As a result, there is more than I can say than you will read on a blog.

The root of the word is wrapped up in “worth” or “value.” I have heard that the etymology of the word is “worthschype” in “ye olde english,” which is to say, that to which you give worth, or value.

We were created to value God. If we don’t give God the ultimate value in our lives, we will merely substitute something else into that place of priority. In short, we are always worshiping. The question is whether or not we are committing idolatry or worshiping the Father in Spirit and Truth.

One of the most important thing any child of God can do within the context of their walk with God is evaluate what it is they are centering their life on; what it is they are worshiping.

That is an introspective side of worship.

The other great extrapolation of the truth that we were made to worship God is that when we do that, we fulfill our designed purpose. We will always be out of joint and uncomfortable with ourselves when we fail to fulfill our designed purpose.

On the flip side, we will always have a sense of comfort and being “at home” when we do fulfill our designed purpose. The world may be chaotic, we may be in pain or we may be on top of the world, but valuing God at His appropriate worth will bring us to the point of peace and give us the appropriate perspective.

We are never to low when we realize that God is in control and has not and will not leave us – we are not alone. We are never to high when we realize that every good and perfect gift comes from the Father, and that we are not responsible for creating our own blessings. Worship affords that perspective.

Almost done now. The Spiritual Disciplines Blogging Crew hosted by Joe Kennedy has but four measly posts before our long journey is done. Check it out.

Confession.

I remember vividly when I found out what the word “confession” actually means. You see, in our culture, we equate confession with the telling of something unknown – to spill the beans, so to speak. Like a criminal admitting to a crime to the police. No longer a need to go t trial, the criminal confessed – now we know.

The word “confess” in the New Testament is a compound word made of of two simple parts: (homo) the same, and (logeo) to speak or say – to break it down simplistically. The accurate translation is something along the lines of “to say the same thing about” or “to agree.”

So to confess your sin to God is to agree with Him about your sin. You are certainly not telling Him something He doesn’t know. You are not “spilling the beans.”

Rather, you are looking at your sin from God’s perspective and agreeing with Him about it. The reason we participate in sin, aside from being born into it, is that we fail to see sin for what it really is – the way He sees it.

As a discipline, confession is about introspectively evaluating the things in your life through God’s eyes and changing your mind if it doesn’t line up with the way you have been looking at it. By constantly filtering your worldview this way, your personal holiness is refined and you become more and more conformed to the image of Christ.

Check out the full crew of Spiritual Disciplines bloggers at Joe Kennedy’s fraggelriffic blog, Word’s Are Not Enough: Live from New Orleans.

Every person is a leader. We all lead, but the question is always “Which way are you leading?”

Another pertinent question is “How are you leading?”

24When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers. 25Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— 28just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Matt. 20:24-28

The essence of our relationship to Christ is service. It is who He was and who He has specifically said that we should be.

The heart of service is that we would offer ourselves for the betterment of others, which is in opposition to the Gentiles in the above Scripture, who used those under them for their own benefit.

As a minister, it took me a long time to learn this lesson. I started out twenty years ago with the idea that I was in charge. Frankly, I held that idea through the next 14 years to varying degrees – which is why I think God never let me be a Lead Pastor until this last year. I only started learning this lesson 6 years ago.

The Pastor as authoritarian leadership model that has been so prevalent over the last generation has had a horrible impact, in my opinion, on the church. I have suffered under such leadership as a staff member, and that is one of the best reasons for me to attempt to avoid it at every turn.

As I started out with, however, service is a discipline for every Christian, as we are all leaders.

Joe Kennedy’s list of bloggers blogging the Spiritual Disciplines.

Submission.

Well, I don’t know anybody who is really good at this. We all have a bent toward our own selfish motives. It’s the sin in us that desires that we have what we want at the exclusion of what everyone else wants and even what God wants.

The role model for us in the is Christ, obviously. Phil. 2 tells us of all He gave away in order to do the will of the Father. Do remember that His life and sacrifice were acts of submission. It is poorly put to say that “Jesus died for us.”

Let me clarify that, so that you don’t freak out and miss the point. He loves us, His sacrifice was in order to accomplish the propitiation of sins, but His life, death and resurrection wasn’t done with us at the center of His mind and heart, but with the Father at the center. To do His will. To submit.

I know, that deserves some more unpacking, but let’s save that for another day, shall we? Suffice it today that we remember the Garden where Jesus asked that the cup of sacrifice pass from Him, if possible, nevertheless, not His will, but the Father’s be done.

Submission.

For us it must be first to the Father. Without submission to Him, submission to others is impossible.

I equate that to the writing of a blank check. Sign it and turn it over, saying, “Fill it in and cash it, Lord.” In other words, you commit before His asking, that whatever He asks, you will do. Your agreement to do what He asks is not dependent in any way on what He asks.

Being submitted to the Father gives us the humble heart we need to submit to others in leadership over us.

The flip side of this, as alluded to earlier, is rebellion. The prideful, self centered heart, that only sees things for how they will relate to self.

Have you ever known a person that never does anything wrong? They get fired from every job they have because the manager is an idiot and won’t listen. They struggle with friendships because their friends inevitably do something or need something that costs them, and that’s not why they are around, in their mind.

Ever know anyone like that?

Ever BEEN anyone like that?

I have.

Sometimes, I still am.

Consider here the traditional toss to Words Are Not Enough: Live From New Orleans from Joe Kennedy. There you will find a list of the bloggers and their subsequent posts on the various Spiritual Disciplines to date. Gracias.

Solitude. This discipline is much akin to Silence for many reasons, most obvious.

If I struggle with the discipline of Silence, then Solitude is all but a complete failure. I am alone, mostly when I am studying, but that time is so short as to be all but inconsequential in the process of solitude.

The benefit of solitude, much the same as silence, is for the ability to be unfettered by distraction. Whereas I perceive silence to be more about hearing from God, I sense that solitude is at least partially about our ability to process what God has spoken to us.

You see, for me, solitude is not necessarily silent. I’m a kinesthetic learner, so that means I think better when I walk and talk. That’s why I move around the stage when I preach. If I were stuck motionless behind the pulpit, I wouldn’t even be able to think through what I am saying at the moment. When it comes to processing my life, I like to walk and talk to God about everything. I usually create a trail to walk through even the smallest of places and then just move and let my mind go through the process, verbalizing as I go.

As such, it can’t be a short amount of time.

In order for us to process all that God is doing around us, we need to think individually about each situation and collectively about all of them so that we get glimpses of God at work in the little pictures and they inform the big picture.

I have a friend who keeps encouraging me to build in sabbatical times to my work and personal schedule. It sounds really good, too, but I have yet to do it. He said he takes a couple of days every three months and goes on a personal retreat by himself and spends time with God, reading his Bible and reading other books.

I think that one of the reasons I have yet to do it is that I am afraid of what the church might say. It doesn’t look like work to most American church members, who already suspect the pastoral staff of their church of having it too easy. This is often not helped by actual pastoral staff who “phone it in” and spend their days out of the office, out of reach. Espescially if they are then spotted recreating out in the community.

I digress.

The fact is that time alone is vital for our ability to process. As I am writing this article on Monday night, my kids are at the table still eating while I am trying to type. They were having one of the most juvenile conversations I could ever have imagined. (Imagine that – they’re kids!) On top of the lowbrow content of their conversation, they were also being loud and my son, Jimmy, was repeating a particular phrase that he found amusing. This is kind of his modus operandi. He is 13. Finally, I told them, “Hush!” Not in the, as my wife calls it, “preacher” voice, but in a kind of exasperated, “please can you give me a break” voice.

There was no silence, but the cacophony squelched slightly before regaining momentum. I shushed them a couple of more times before finally relenting and moving to another room. I can still hear them, but it is removed enough that I can put words together in coherent fashion.

You see, to think- to really process – we need to be alone.

Now, maybe I am splitting hairs between the outworking of Silence and the outworking of Solitude. Beyond these differences, though, I can’t see much else that separates them.

As always, check out the full list of bloggers who are blogging the Spiritual Disciplines at Joe Kennedy’s blog, Words are not Enough, Live From New Orleans.

Silence. I have an amazing dynamic tension between silence and noise.

I can’t concentrate with noise. I do so much better when I have silence. Even soft music is a supreme distraction to me. Voices in the hall, noises in neighboring offices, anything, everything prevent me from experiencing focus unless I remove myself from all of it.

On the other hand, when I am still, I struggle to remain still and focus my mind. Of all the disciplines, to me, this takes the most “self discipline.” Especially in our very cluttered culture that desires our attention at every turn.

You see, our culture wants our time, our energy and our money. The first step to getting these things is to get our attention.

So I am used to having things pull my attention back and forth from one subject to another in rapid fire succession. When no one is pulling, I habitually let my mind flit from thought to thought out of habit.

So, silence is hard.

But out of silence is born the innate sense that God is directing you. Why do we wonder what God’s will for us is all of the time? Because we aren’t able to hear Him speak to us. Why not? Is He no longer speaking? No. God is a God of revelation. He desires that we know Him and His direction.

Some would say that He has left us His Word, and that is enough. I know many who know the Word very well, but show no evidence that God is directing the decisions of their lives. Knowing the Word is the first step in allowing God to direct us. He speaks through His Word. He will never violate the direction of his Word. Nevertheless, answers to the questions about which job offer to take are often not addressed specifically in His Word.

I had a Youth Minister who used to tell us that God didn’t care what we did in those kinds of situations, so long as we didn’t violate His principles. Sounds good, but that is a move toward Open Theism and a small God, not a Sovereign Lord of all things, which is how I read Him described in His Word.

Anyway, all of that is simply to say that I think God whispers to us phenomenal things. Things about Who He is and where we should be in life and to whom He would like us to speak about Christ today. I don’t think you have to be still and silent to hear that, either.

I do think that you have to be still and silent to learn to recognize His voice over the cacophony of other things wanting your attention. I can recognize my wife’s voice across a crowded and noisy room. I’ve spent time with her. Her voice is precious to me. On the other hand, I may not recognize a friend’s voice in the same room. They may be close, and even dear to me, but they haven’t spent the TIME in conversation with me that my wife has. Moreover, I don’t listen to them the way I listen to my wife. She gets more of my attention than anyone else on the planet. The question is not whether or not God is speaking or even if He is saying deep and meaningful things to us. The question is whether or not we treat Him like a friend or our true love. Do we listen to Him? Do we allow Him to speak and us to listen?

Did you ever know anyone who, it seemed, God whispered in their ear? They were always just a little closer than the rest of us beloved children? They seemed to have more joy and peace in hard times and wisdom in the crucial moment?

Everyone I have ever known that fit that description has been someone who habitually got alone with God, away from everything that could distract, and got…

…

silent.

By the way. Hearing a “special word from God” is not the reason to be silent. He may do that. The main thing, though, is to remove clutter from your mind and focus on Him, which is of so many benefits in every area of our walk with Him.

As always, check out the other articles from those folks blogging the spiritual disciplines at Words Are Not Enough, live from New Orleans; aka Joe Kennedy’s blog.

Simplicity.

Hmm. Frankly I’ve never really pursued simplicity. It is not that I don’t think it worthy. Just the opposite. I think the simplistic lifestyle is a very worthy pursuit. Just not one to which I have given myself.

Full disclosure, here. I’m an 80′s guy. High School and College – all of my independence and self growth – took place during the decade that was known for its self indulgence. To say that I am a product of my culture is a no brainer.

That is not to say, however, that I am for the indulgence of my personal whims. Quite the opposite. In the last decade, my wife and I have not purchased things that we very much wanted because we could not afford them. We are working our way out of debt, and are making some real headway, I might say. Those who are self indulgent do not say “no” to their whims.

That’s not quite “Simplicity” though, is it? Simplicity is not about choosing the “goody” that it most wants and leaving the others behind. Simplicity is about leaving aside things that complicate your life with desire, demands on your time and attention – things that make you complex.

I am all for not loving the things of the world. 1 John 2:15 – “Do not love the world, nor anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”

Nevertheless, I am drawn to complexity like a moth to flame. I love my Treo, XBOX, Laptop, iPod and everything that I can hook these things up to or use to micromanage my life or fill it with things. Often, these things are not inherently “wrong.” The only games on my XBOX are sports; the songs on my iPod are almost exclusively Christian; I use my laptop to blog, but also to write sermons and prepare the outline/power point for them; my Treo is my link to church members, calendar of meetings, contacts and more.

As I said, they are not “wrong” in and of themselves, but is the complexity they bring, and that I so enjoy, what is best for my life in Christ?

I fill up my time so much that I am often exhausted. When I am tired, I make poor decisions and I am not compassionate. I have become so busy juggling my life that I fear slowing down. You see, to drop what I have fought so long to keep in the air goes against the nature I have trained into myself. I’ve spent a long time learning to juggle this life. I have invested money as well as effort in the ability to stay as busy as I am. Frankly, it’s a habit that I enjoy and I can’t necessarily say is a sin, so I have a hard time thinking that I should not only start letting phone calls go, but actually turning off my phone. What? No email? What if someone needs me?

As a result of this lifestyle, I often need a nap, yet seldom get one. I often need to look on others with refreshed eyes that see God at work, but look on them with eyes that don’t really have time to take in the fullness of the picture before me – so many other things need my attention. I often need to think clearly, but the demands of the massive amounts of information clutter my thoughts and confuse me.

I am not good at simplicity, but perhaps I should be.

As always, check out the others blogging the Disciplines at Joe Kennedy’s place.

I was first introduced to the concept of Journaling in seminary when I read Bill Hybel’s book, Honest to God. It was one of Bill’s first, if not THE first, and it was my first introduction to a guy who would become very well known among American Evangelicals, if not very well appreciated.

This is not about him, though, it is about journaling. As a part of the book, Bill took on personal time with God and encouraged people to journal as it had revolutionized his time with God. Seminary was a time of incredible Spiritual Growth for me. The book and subsequent journaling that I added into my life was a major part of that.

When I journal, still to this day, I journal as per Bill’s suggestion. I write a page in my notebook about what is going on in my world. Obviously, as this is about time with God, I also reflect on Him and His work in my life. In other words, if I am enjoying good times or struggling with hard times, I write about them, but from the viewpoint of what I see God doing in them and in me. I go on to write out my prayers, but I’ve already written about that.

Journaling prepares my heart for prayer. It gets me focused on God. it helps me to think through the raw emotions that I am feeling and to focus on why I feel that way and if I am right or wrong to feel that way in light of what I know about God and what I know about the way He relates to me and the rest of His creation.

It is imperative that journals be kept safe. I have, on occasion, read to people from my journal, but only things that are “safe” for me. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that you will find all my secret sins if you find my journals, but that is not what I am talking about.

If you are not committed to keeping your journals private, you begin to write with the idea that you are writing for posterity and not for honesty. If journaling is to be beneficial, it must be honest. Editing your words in a way that makes you sound a little better than you are, which is what you will do if you think that others will be one day reading your journals, will cause you to be shallow. Moreover, it will reinforce the bad behavior journaling is intended to alleviate – that of having a heart that is unprepared and sheltered from the probing eye of the Holy Spirit as you pray.

Not long after I started, I had grown so much in the endeavor, I became legalistically addicted to it. I had once left my journal in a friends’ room – I forget why I had it there, but I was not sharing it – and when I got up to have my time with God, I couldn’t find my journal. As a result, I didn’t spend time with God. Journaling had become equivalent for me with time alone with God. No two ways around it – that’s idolatry.

So disciplines are means to an end, not an end to themselves.