Did I actually just say that? Yup. I’m pretty sure I did. I might clarify by saying that I don’t think you grow a HEALTHY church that way.
The thought process has gone, for decades, that if you have a great Children’s program and then a great Youth program, you will draw the kids and then get the parents.
It appears that when it works two things happen, and neither of them are healthy. 1) Families transfer from a smaller, dying church to a bigger church with better programs, and/or 2) reclamation of church dropouts.
While the reclamation of dropouts sounds like a good thing, my observation has been that they only reconnected when their kids got to the age where church programs became a part of an already overcrowded schedule of their kids’ activities. Because their reconnection was just part of the general “busy-ness” in which they enrolled their kids, they typically pursued a nominal Christianity as a tangential part of our congregation. That is to say, they attended sporadically, they rarely gave and they never served.
Neither transfer growth nor nominal reconnection produce a healthy church.
In a recent study published in USA Today, it was revealed that 70% of people aged 18-30 had dropped out of church by the time they were 23 years old.
The survey addressed a small group of these dropouts who return, but the question was not related to the role of children in their return to church:
The news was not all bad: 35% of dropouts said they had resumed attending church regularly by age 30. An additional 30% attended sporadically. Twenty-eight percent said “God was calling me to return to the church.”
The survey found that those who stayed with or returned to church grew up with both parents committed to the church, pastors whose sermons were relevant and engaging, and church members who invested in their spiritual development.
That last statement is paramount.
To grow a healthy church, we are going to have to 1) grow healthy families, where 2) discipleship is a process that takes place within community and happens over a timeline from cradle to grave and 3) the worship is going to have to be relevant.
That sounds to me like a church with family based small groups (parents discipling their kids in an engaged community) and relevant worship.
Conversely, that would include a scaling back of programs. Churches aren’t programmed to grow. They are programmed to die.
The mashup of my observations and the survey is that even if you grow by transfer or by nominal reclamation, the program model is going to produce 3 out of 10 real disciples, and of the 7 out of 10 who wander off, you might see a fraction return in a positive way.
Program driven churches have been withering in America for decades. To depend solely on those programs is to follow that well worn path to the death of our churches.
We need a more organic, healthy, family inclusive and holistic mindset and structure. We need to re-shape the church.
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SonyaD
on Sep 30th, 2009
@ 2:35 pm:
Art,
I wholeheartedly agree. What seems to happen is many (not all, of course) parents are looking for a place to drop off their kids so they can “farm out” their own spiritual responsiblity in discipling their kids. This is probably the reason so few parents actually get involved in the ministry itself. The parents are already involved in school activities, sports, dance, etc., etc., so they really don’t desire to make an additional commitment to youth or children’s ministry. Unfortunately, it seems to have become all about the church that has the “flashiest” ministry for kids. Sadly, these kids are being groomed to have a consumer, shallow mindset. Church attendance is just one of many things they might choose to participate in. Many of these parents equate their kids being involved in church activities on the same level of importance as ball practice, or cheerleading or any other school activity. I could say a lot more, but I’ll get down off my soapbox now! :)
Bob Cleveland
on Oct 2nd, 2009
@ 7:27 am:
This is a real “oh, WOW…” thought. Thanks for posting it.
I’ve printed it out and will give it to my pastor. This is the sort of thing that, if true, calls for action on the part of the church. Action to determine where folks are in their walk, and doing something about it. More than just the “Priesthood of the Believer” is involved here, and the old routine of the church simply offering stuff to help people doesn’t seem to be getting the job done.